Betty Louella Kitzman
For those of you who don’t know, my grandma passed away on Sunday the 27th. I could say a lot of things about how sad I am and how hard this is, but I don’t think she would have liked that very much. I’ll just tell you some really cool things about her.
1. The first thing you need to know is that she battled Multiple Sclerosis for 40 years and has been in a wheelchair all my life. Not because she let that define her, but just so you know how much of a fighter she really was.
2. Before being diagnosed with MS she was a political campaign manager all over the midwest. I think that was a pretty big deal to be a powerful woman politician in the 60s. When my Grandpa took a group of students to Poland for a semester in the early seventies, he picked up a copy of Time magazine for the trip home and there was my grandma’s candidate on the front cover.
3. My grandparents met on a hayrack ride in 1949. My grandpa says he brought a date that night, but doesn’t remember how she got home because he took my grandma home instead. And he still has the hat she wore that night.
4. I used to spend summers at my grandparents house while my dad was at work, and 99.9% of the time I wore my teevas/umbros/tye dye ensemble. That was great and everything, but when we decided to take my dad out to eat when he got home from work-on a number of occasions- my grandma would make me wear one of her more appropriate blouses. That’s right, to be proper and well dressed for a 5 o’clock meal at Valentino’s pizza buffet my grandma made me wear her blouse with my umbros and teevas…I’m sure I was also wearing tye dye socks.
5. My grandma was an incredible swimmer. She competed in the Iowa Games in the 90s and won first place in the 500 backstroke. For about 15 years she swam 1000 yards 6 days a week, she absolutely loved to swim.
6. She also loved to watch her grandchildren swim, and one of my favorite things to do as a kid was show her how I was not scared to jump off the high dive, even though I was terrified. MS made it impossible for her to come watch us from the deck of the pool because she could not be out in the heat for very long. But we still got to swim for hours while she watched us from the car in the parking lot with the air conditioning on.
7. Both of my grandparents love eating out. I’m talking lunch and dinner most days. They know all the wait-staff at their favorite restaurants, and probably even some of their families. Their favorite brunch spot was the Gateway Hotel in Ames. My mom says when she married my step dad they stayed at the Gateway on their wedding night and sure enough ran into my grandparents the next morning for brunch. At least they didn’t ask them to sit with them, but I’m sure it freaked out my step dad to run into my mom’s ex-inlaws. Whatever, it makes me laugh.
8. My grandparents loved dog sitting for my chocolate lab, Kodiak, when I was a kid. They loved it to the point where they would keep her for months at a time just because. Most of the time she rode around in a small trailer my grandpa bought to hitch to his riding lawn mower…I wouldn’t be surprised if that is the reason he bought it. But when my dad would finally pick her up he would ask why the fresh bag of dog food was still unopened. My grandma would say, “oh well, she just loves happy meals so much more.” That’s right, everyday they had Kodiak they went through the McDonalds drive through just for her.
9. My grandparents had the BEST sledding hill. I mean, there was no better place in town to sled than in their backyard. I enjoyed it as a kid, and when we weren’t there to use the hill, my grandma would call around to all the neighbor houses on the day of the first snow and announce, “the sledding hill is open!”
10. A couple of days before Christmas the doctors told our family that the main problem was that my grandma’s body was no longer absorbing nutrition. My grandpa lost it, but she simply said, “So what do you propose?” Over the next couple days she seemed quite comfortable, like she even might pull through one more time, and then she was gone. She is the most graceful person I have ever known.
I’ve been worried for a long time now about what would happen to my Grandpa when she died. After 59 years of marriage, and what I am certain is true love, along with 40 years of lifting her at least ten times a day and caring for her every need…when I think about it I can feel a hole in my heart that must be a fraction of the void he feels. But I have been with my Grandpa for his first week without her, and I think he’s going to be ok. He spent the first part of their marriage traveling the world with his students, and now I think he is going to start that up again on his own (Hopefully I’ll get to tag along for some of that). And I think he will also start painting again. This is where my biggest new years resolution lies this year. I am going to finally take the time to drive to Iowa on a regular basis to paint with my grandpa. I’ve always wanted to paint with him, and this year I’m going to actually do it. I’m aiming for once a month, and hopefully that will keep us both busy, creative, and happy.
I am also going to make a conscious effort to celebrate how blessed I was to have such an amazing woman for a grandmother instead of being sad that she’s gone. She was a fighter, and she wouldn’t have put up with much moping around.
So here’s to my grandma, the new year, and making the most of her legacy!
